I had to treat myself to a load of ice cream after typing away an entire chapter.
Genre: Drama/Comedy/Magical Realism
Here’s another exasperating scene:
“Mom can never make pancakes this fluffy,” she says.
“Mom is only great at main courses,” I reply. “Never breakfast. My babysitter would make me breakfast. She taught me how to make fluffy pancakes.”
“At how old?” she giggles.
“I was probably around ten,” I boast on.
“And yet you still remembered all through this time,” she says, smiling.
“Of course,” I vaunt up. “And when I finally got it right, it made me feel like — I could take care of anybody.” And — right in an instant — it darkens her eyes with guilt, sinking me away into all the grim fears looming inside my chest — “Oh baby — I’m sorry — I didn’t mean –”
“It’s okay,” she mumbles. “I’ll work on it.”
“Dylan!” My heartaches are already jammed full! I spare out more drips, and she escapes away with more weeps. We both listen to each other’s pains — until — “The only way for you to take care of me,” I blubber on — “– is to just be there — WITH ME — FOR US! We’ll live a simple life together. You don’t have to worry about – THINGS!!! Please — believe me — THAT’S NOT WHAT I WANT FROM YOU!!! I’m in love with you! My heart — everything inside of me — everything about me — everything in my head — IT’S ALL ABOUT YOU!!! And IT’S ALL YOURS!!! I’d never been so happy — and so nervous — and so brave — until I met you! I had no idea who I was or what I wanted to do with my pathetic life — until I got you! I didn’t even realize for one second that a wish would find a way for it to come true — until I got to know you in our first few moments! And yet along with all that — fears broke in! My fear of losing you anytime and any day! And out of that one fear alone — has been fencing me into a lot — A WHOLE LOT OF THEM!!! So I don’t think it’s fair that we’re both disrespecting US!!! Or betraying our dreams and wishes! Or forsaking our drabbles and making OUR PLEDGE WAIT LONGER all because you believe you’re with me empty-handed! Well, you did not come with me empty-handed, Dylan! You came with me with a full heart! You’ve just been confusing it with your empty hands all along! This is why you’ve got all these doubts, fears, and screaming insecurities — when this whole time — YOU’VE ALREADY GOT WHAT I’VE WANTED FROM YOU — and YOU SHOULD NEVER DENY ME OF IT — and abandon the rest of what we have!”
“What if you’d get sick of me?” she replies. “What would happen to my full heart then?”
“Oh my god!” I soar out of the chair. “I do not believe this!”
“What if you’d suddenly fall in love with someone who deserves you more?” she provokes.
“YOU’RE THE ONLY ONE WHO DESERVES ME, DYLAN!!!” I scream. “The only one!!! ‘Cause there’s nobody else out there who shares All of Lush with me, the drabbles, the sacred seven decades, the pledge — and EVERYTHING ELSE that we’ve already created together all through this short time period!!! And what does it say on our drabble envelopes? How did our hearts — our full hearts — clinch and claim each other early on? MY ONE AND ONLY LUSH!!! My one and only LUSH!!! There is a beautiful reason as to why it happened just like that!!! There is a beautiful reason as to why we instinctively called each other MY ONE AND ONLY LUSH!!! And that beautiful reason is – I will always be yours and you will always be mine! And my full heart – and all the lush that you make me feel – have known it — right from the very first glance! DON’T YOU GET IT??? WE’RE MEANT FOR EACH OTHER!!!”
“Walnut,” she mumbles, “your beautiful heart always manages to wound up my vultures.”
“And you’re wounding up my vultures each time you pout away with your D.F.S.I. drama!”
“And I will never afford a ring. That’s for sure.”