A piece of my virtues was on the brink of panic.
Genre: Drama/Comedy/Magical Realism
Here’s one scene:
“I have to talk to your dad tomorrow,” she says.
“Huh? What about?”
“I’m paying him back for the hospital bill.”
My walnut is persecuted! “Dylan, we’ve already talked about this.”
“No, Ace,” she protests. “It’s not right. I gotta do it. Or my conscience would kill me.”
“Well, have you ever thought that you’re not the only one with a conscience here?” I jump on her case.
“Excuse me?” she yelps — thrown off balance.
“He did it out of good heart! Because he knows how much you love his daughter. Because he knows how beautiful your heart is. Because he knows you’re not just another girl — Why can’t you just accept the truth, Dylan, and deal with this new life? Your new life. With me. With them?”
“If a new life means I’m taking advantage of the most beautiful hearts I have ever come across, I don’t want it.”
“You are not taking advantage of them, alright?” I bluster. “Your definition of it is twisted enough for you and me and everybody else to slam it out of any human books. We’ve been talking about beautiful hearts — your doubts, fears, and screaming insecurities — Well, here’s a newsflash for you. Love does not calculate all the good things it does. Because all the good things it does must be respected and honored through a wholehearted acceptance. So forget about all your doubts, fears, and screaming insecurities because they do not have a room in this house, within this family, and around me. Would you be kind enough to uphold to that?” — The kettle whistles in. I shut off the stove and fix a cup of peppermint tea — as she observes me in glum silence — Oh, god. Her pensive heart’s grinding pain makes me want to drum into the loudest mourns! — I place the hot drink on the counter and step back — afraid to commit the first offense — “There,” I say, nodding at it.
“Thanks,” she utters and takes the cup, then walks away.
“Dylan,” I sprint after her — with the one-meter rule stride — “– please — just forget about the hospital bill, alright?”
“Ace,” she responds, “you, your parents — are way too perfect for my world. I have to fix my life.”
“What are you saying?”
“I love you very much and you deserve so much better!”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“I have to fix my life!”
“WHAT’S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN, DYLAN???!!!” I scream, and we face off in the middle of the vast living area — Movements intrude from upstairs. Moms and dads string out of their rooms. But Dylan and I seem oblivious to their presence — as frustrations thud in — “What did you mean by that?” I defy my tears!
“It means –” she yammers — “ — I don’t want anything from you. I don’t want anything from your parents. I don’t want you to define a beautiful heart by nurturing my weaknesses and pampering my shortcomings. So okay, they’re just things. They’re just walls. They’re privileges. It’s the blinding beauty — right here — standing a meter away from me. And she loves me very much — But I have nothing to offer you. I don’t even know how to take care of you, look out for your needs, and even cook for you. All I know is — my heart cries for you all the time — and I struggle around the idea of how to improve my life just to justify how much I love you — because I just don’t want to keep it in a vain jar — This is why I have to fix my life. Because right now — my love for you — is nothing — but a full load of vain cramps — AND I DON’T WANT TO DEFINE MY LOVE FOR YOU AS JUST THE VAIN CRAMPS!!! I WANT TO DO EVERYTHING TO MAKE YOU HAPPY!!! I WANT TO TAKE CARE OF YOU REALLY GOOD!!! I WANT TO LOOK OUT FOR YOUR NEEDS!!! I WANT TO COOK FOR YOU!!! — This is why I have to fix my life — AND THIS IS WHY I DESERVE TO KEEP MY DOUBTS, FEARS, AND SCREAMING INSECURITIES WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT!!! — If you can’t accept that — then I do NOT deserve somebody like you! Because I never deserved you to begin with! You deserve someone better! Someone who doesn’t have doubts, fears, and screaming insecurities to worry about! So I’m sorry if I am a huge disappointment to your definition of a beautiful heart!”
“Dylan — our sunrise has been waiting for us to catch it. Our sacred seven decades, too. And our All of Lush dance. So the life that you want to fix — is catching the sunrise with me — spending the sacred seven decades with me — and having the All of Lush dance with me — It means — life is now inhibited by you and me — Not only you — Why can’t you see that?”
“My goodness, Ace! Why do you always find ways to make me feel better? Can’t I even fix myself alone and have a little courage to face my own music?”
“No, you can’t! Because you’re my one and only LUSH and I’m your one and only LUSH! You and I share each other’s LUSH, and all the LUSH that we’ve already created together! So All of Lush is ours! It’s us! It’s you and I! Together!”
“I hate you.”
“Potato!” I sneer.
“Baby carrot!” she yelps.