March 24, 2019. Sunday.
Ladies and gentlemen, the world, especially all life, love, and spiritual gurus — Edmonton TV and Sherwood Park media are glorifying my walnut mall stunt — and canonizing my walnut flesh — as if I am a Hollywood or New York jazz superstar — rolled into one nutshell!
— On Sunday morning news headlines — Two woozy male TV anchors/commentators —
“Are you ready for this?” one announces, grinning, wide-eyed — his extreme enthusiasm electrifies through the TV screen — “Sherwood Park went oh-gaga yesterday — And no, it had nothing to do with hockey, neither the Titans, nor Dolly Parton’s surprise visit — It was all about one classy, jazzy, and sassy name – Ace Hansel! Roll the clip — and here she is!” —
And there I am. There’s my walnut. My first public singing performance — a fun duet with a delightful man — the father of my one and only LUSH — all the good human hearts — This purity and pride — One of the most heart-rending moments of my life — that I will never regret — Regardless of how much the public may consume off my privacy, my secrets, and everything else that blends along with my pulverized vanity — I would do it again in the name of my loving pulse — and grits!
Mr. Dawson appears in an ambushed interview after our singing smack-down. “She’s my daughter’s good friend,” he says. “She’s a very nice girl.” — The reporters rumble at him with more provoking questions — “She’s just visiting. They’re just visiting. That’s all I gotta say. Thank you.” And he breaks away from the harassment.
And fanatical random witnesses pan through the screen, expressing their distraught devotion:
“Oh, man! That was pretty surreal! I got no words for it! My mind was just — all over the place! I could not even think!” one teenage boy fusses.
“She’s gotta be somebody! She’s gotta be!” one man insists.
“Gorgeous, like drop-dead-gorgeous with a drop-dead-gorgeous voice!” one lady flaps.
“Ace Hansel! Doesn’t the name sound famous already?” one teenage girl wonders. “I think I must have already heard of it somewhere! But yeah, I’m glad I went and saw her in full flesh! It was very exciting!”
“Oh yes! My wife has also fallen in love with her, all right!” one young man reveals.
“She waved and smiled at me! She looks like an angel!” one fair female senior shares her propensity.
“Oh, I broke my ankle! My friends and I ran after her!” one young woman confesses —